1. Once you do number 2 and 3 I don't think anyone will be using the wordpress logout so you won't need that anymore but if you do let me know and we should be able to add an option in eMember for this.
2. WordPress doesn't have an option to globally turn off the toolbar for all users but there are a few plugins that can help you do that. Here is one:
http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/wp-admin-bar-removal/
or you can add the following line of code to your theme's function.php to remove admin bar completely for anyone:
<?php remove_action('init', 'wp_admin_bar_init'); ?>
3. Using a .htaccess file in your /wp-admin directory is a very effective way to prevent anyone except you going there. Check the 2nd tip from this article:
http://www.tipsandtricks-hq.com/essential-wordpress-security-tips-is-your-blog-protected-987